I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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