I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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