Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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