Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
