Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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