When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
