Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
