The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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