There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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