This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
