can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
