Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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