ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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