ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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