Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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