I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize