I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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