I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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