At least make sure they are 18
Why
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
