He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
