And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
