I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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