in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
