I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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