just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
