ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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