Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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