tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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