you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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