thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
