Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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