last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
