If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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