Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
