Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
