Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
