maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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