Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Randomize
