My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
