i don't like sucking hair
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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