it hurts more in the daytime
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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