Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
