People in love make me want to vomit
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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