All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Oh god it's open bar.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
