dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
