the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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