Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
