Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
