if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Every concussion has its silver lining
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
