Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have already put on my inside pants.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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