Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
